we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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