I want to walk on stilts...naked
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
