Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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