My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Randomize
