im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
