oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
