Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
