Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
