and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Let's get the cat blown out
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
