Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
