even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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