I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize