she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
