dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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