She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
