i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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