U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
