I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
