Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize