Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
