where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
