There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
