1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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