Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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