Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
