Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
meet me or not, i'm out of control
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize