i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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