How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
