Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
