Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
