im drinking this country out of the recession.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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