I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
