So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
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