There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
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