i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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