He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize
