He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
