I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I wish they made helmets for livers.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
