Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
