Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
