Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
