Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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