the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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