How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
