She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
