I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
