My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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