i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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