What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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