And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
