is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
