Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
