Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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