he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
