Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize