ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
