I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
