I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
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