dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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