Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I touched a dick in church today
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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