I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
