So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I have post one night stand depression
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