Can Purell be used as lube?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
