literally had 100 drinks last night.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Randomize
