Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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