the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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